Where Did All the Guys Go?
by kandisi
Summary: Shounen ai, Complete. This was my futile attempt to write a humourous shounen ai & shoujo ai fic many years ago. Main pairings are Jin x Hwoarang, Kazuya x Lee, Bryan x Lei, and Paul x Forest! As they say, don't like don't read! :D
1. Wonderful Relationships

Author's Note: Ok, this is my futile attempt to hopefully write an at least "somewhat" humorous Shounen-ai fic. (Shoujo-ai comes in awhile later) I honestly can't believe I wrote this, because it will most likely make me look extremely stupid. I doubt it's very well written either. But hey, I tried... This is also a last warning to anyone who is in anyway offended by Shounen-ai, Shoujo-ai, Yaoi and/or Yuri themes. 

Warnings: The rating to this fiction in my opinion is technically M15, so I would still recommend this generally for more mature audiences. This also so far includes language, mild violence, sexual references, and lime scenes, so I suggest you turn back now if you know you can't handle this kind of material. This is also AU, and OOC at times, though everyone remains IC for the most part, which probably makes it scarier... lol...

Anyway, I hope you enjoy!!! ^_^ 

Disclaimer: I wouldn't mind owning Tekken, but unfortunately, I don't... 

_________________

**Where Did All The Guys Go?!**

Chapter One

Wonderful Relationships…

**_________________________**

"Hwoarang, come on and wake up already!" Jin sighed as he repeatedly shook the sleeping Hwoarang who refused to wake. Jin finally had to result to a little more… Drastic measures of the sort…

"Uhh!" Jin sighed before ripping the covers and sheets right off the bed, to reveal practically… everything to Jin's eyes.

"JIN!" Hwoarang instantly jumped up. This was the sixth day in a row… "Why do you have to keep doing that?!"

Jin smiled softly as he rolled his eyes at the same time. "Because if I didn't, then you wouldn't wake up until dusk!"

Hwoarang smirked, "Well maybe if you weren't always keeping me up so late, then I wouldn't even have this problem in the first place!"

Jin didn't say anything in reply, and just stood at the foot of the bed, smiling. 

"Well?" Hwoarang spoke timidly.

In response, Jin swiftly grabbed the covers and sheets that were bunched up at the foot of the bed, and through them right over Hwoarang.

"Ok then, just remember that when you're waking up, that I'll be going to sleep," Jin sarcastically mocked. 

Hwoarang was now sitting up on the bed, but still with the white sheet over him. Jin laughed and shook his head. "You look like a ghost!"

Hwoarang rolled his eyes, even though Jin couldn't tell, before speaking up himself. "Whooo, I'm Hwoarang the horny ghost!" Of course Jin couldn't help but laugh his ass off at this.

"Just get up and make breakfast, while I go get the mail." 

Hwoarang didn't like the sound of this. He also hated to cook. Especially since he sucked so much at it, and it always turned out burnt or extra greasy.

"Cut the 'dominance' crap already, Kazama! And you _know_ that my cooking sucks ass! And yours is actually 'somewhat' edible. Remember, I was raised by only a father figure. You're the mama's boy."

"Fine…" Jin sighed, "I guess we have become apartment rivals now…" Jin turned and began walking all hunched over and depressed-like into the kitchen as he heard Hwoarang's laughter in the background. He then headed over to the stove. He was going to make some good ol' pancakes!

In the meantime, Hwoarang had gotten dressed in a pair of black denims and a white muscle shirt. He loved to show off his figure, and he actually had a damn nice one at that. Hwoarang then decided he may as well get the mail while he was at it, since Jin was doing the cooking. They'd been living together for at least three months now, and already they seemed like a typical married couple. They just had trouble figuring out who more played the part of the 'wife' figure in the household. 

_Uh, well it's definitely not me!_

Hwoarang then opened the bedroom door and walked into the hallway before making his way to the front door to collect the mail.

Jin, on the other hand, had begun flipping his Betty Crocker Pancakes. "Cheap-a gas stove! I can only imagine what all the gas is doing to the ecosystem of this already disgustingly polluted city!" His eyes then wondered over to the refrigerator, which was covered with many different pictures at the top. He smiled as his glance fell upon the picture which was of him, his father Kazuya, and his Uncle Lee. He _actually had a norm- well, he had a family! They then wondered to the picture which was of Hwoarang and Julia. "That scank!" He sighed. He didn't like that picture, for obvious reasons. "I guess I shouldn't have said that, I mean, I don't really _hate_ Julia?"_

No less than two seconds later, Jin suddenly felt a pair of arms encircle his waist. Jin wasn't really expecting this, so the pancake he was flipping in the process, ended up going a little too high… Jin then felt warm lips tracing the flesh at the join between his neck and shoulder line, he sighed but still smiled all the same.

"Hwoarang, couldn't you see I was cooking? Well, do you wanna give it a try then?"

"I do my cooking in the bedroom, but I suppose I could try it in the kitchen?"

Jin laughed, "Very funny. You always have to be such a smart-a."

"Jin, just say 'smart-ass' already."

"But, but you know my mother taught me that harsh language wasn't necessary?" 

Hwoarang suddenly looked up, "Hey, what happened to the pancake?" he asked grinning.

"Huh?" Jin looked up, only to get hit in the face with a pancake a split-second later.

"Hahaha! Well, it is April 1, you know!"

Jin pulled the pancake off of his face. "Yeah, but I don't think you quite had that one planned…"

Hwoarang just continued laughing as he sat down at the round, wooden table centred in the kitchen and began skimming through the mail. Most of it appeared to be that 'You know you want to buy this it's on sale' shit, but one finally caught his attention. "Hey, Jin? It's a letter to you from your grandfather!"

Jin jumped up as yet another pancake went soaring through the air… "What the fuck?!"

"Ah ha! See Jin, you are learning!"

"Yea, to pick up your naughty language habits. Now what was that about the letter from Heihachi? This isn't an April Fool's day joke, right?" Jin arched an ebony brow at the redhead as he asked this.

"No, in fact, according to what I'm reading, it's an invitation requesting that all of the Tekken fighters are to attend a dance at the Mishima Zaibatsu!"

Jin of course, had a look of utter confusion glued to his face. "Dance…? When?"

"Uh, today…"

"What?! Why weren't we informed earlier than this?!"

Hwoarang made one of those 'oops' faces. "Um, this mail is five days old, Jin…"

"Oh great, and I suppose the bills are in there somewhere too?" _Damn, I really do sound like the wife..._

_He really does sound like the wife..._ "Nope. But it says we're 'required' to go tonight…"

"Great… Oh well, I guess my luck can't be _that bad today?"_

A moment after Jin stated this, the second pancake which had stuck to the ceiling fell and landed smack-dab on Jin's face…

"Kaz? Kazuya?! Have you seen my other glove?!" Lee yelled up the stairs.

Kazuya didn't even bother leaving which ever room he was in. "I already told you ten times that I haven't a clue!!!"

Lee sighed as he began to walk up the stairs so he could see if his missing glove was in any of the other upstairs rooms. As he made his way to the very top, he first decided to search the master bedroom, since this is where he remembered them coming off in the first place, along with everything else. When he entered, Kazuya was already there as he gelled up his hair in front of the enormous dresser mirror.

"You know Lee, we still have at least six hours before that damned dance."

"That may be true, but I think we both know that I am not for procrastination." Lee was standing a few feet behind Kazuya in nothing but a pair of his tight, leather pants on as he stated this with his hands on his hips.

"Whatever Chaolan."

"Yeah, that's it. Just stand there and 'gel away' for two hours, like always. I'm going out in the meantime," Lee stated as he turned around back toward the door.

"You're not going anywhere," Kazuya simply declared. 

Lee swiftly turned back around. "Excuse me?!"

Kazuya gave one of those evil half-smiles of his as he stared at Lee's not-so-happy facial expression in the mirror. "You heard me."

Lee narrowed his own eyes back at Kazuya's reflection. "And what are you going to do if I say just say 'fuck you'?"

Kazuya then turned around with his arms crossed and that evil smile of his still on his face. "Then I would have to say, 'In your dreams'."

Lee got the rather rude picture, and in response, just sighed as he ran a hand back through his silver tendrils before once more turning around and heading for the doorway. However, before he could reach the door, Kazuya quickly moved to step in front of him, blocking the doorway.

"You're not going anywhere until I get what I want," Kazuya declared with a malicious smile.

Lee didn't even have to think twice as to what it was he wanted. "Oh please Kazuya! Didn't we already go over the fact that it would be best if I could at least 'attempt' dancing? It is a 'dance' and all, you know. And even though I already _know_ that you plan to sit in a dark, lonely corner of the room the whole time, you know very well that I am not like that! You can wait!"

(2 And-a-half hours later….)

"Well I hope you're happy now. I bet you anything that I won't be able to dance my best tonight…"

Kazuya chuckled slightly to himself as he sat on the other side of the bed. "Oh, that would be a shame, wouldn't it, my dear Lee? Yes, such a shame that you wouldn't be able to dance with the all-time 'Tekken Slut', Anna Williams, wouldn't it now? Or her bitch sister, for that matter."

"I seriously don't think you are ever going to let me forget that… I swear, sometimes I think you love to mind-fuck with me just as much as much, or more than you do fucking altogether!"

Kazuya grinned. "Hmm, I seriously don't think I would push it quite that far." 

Lee couldn't help but chuckle himself at this. "You and your damned dominance." He shook his head, "If anyone even knew we were together, then none of them would even have to think twice as to who the dominant one is… They would all say 'Duh, Kazuya is on top 24-7', and the sad thing is, they'd be right…" Lee sighed as he reached over to the nightstand next to the bed for one of his cigarettes.

Of course, Kazuya grabbed his wrist before Lee could even light the cigarette in the first place.

"Come on, Kaz! Let go."

In response, Kazuya just smirked at he grabbed the cigarette in his left grasp, before crushing it a few inches in front of Chaolan's face. "You know it's for you own good, Lee."

"There you go with that damned dominance of yours once again. I mean, if we were to think of another couple. Hmm, like Jin and Hwoarang, for instance?"

Kazuya nearly fell off the bed in a fit of laughter at this. "Sure Lee, like that would ever happen!"

"I'm only speaking metaphorically, of course. I mean, just think. If they were together, that would actually be a 50-50 on the dominance. Either that or pretty close, at least. But this is just unfair!"

"Riiight. Why don't we think of 'Bryan and Lei', while you're at it!"

"Now THAT'S a definite no-no."

"Hmm, would it be Bryan then? Cause' Wulong is just a wimp." Kazuya declared as he shook his head.

"Very true…" Lee nodded in agreement, "But hey, remember, this is just metaphorically speaking. We both know that Jin/Hwoarang and Bryan/Lei are NOT possible."

Kazuya nodded at the statement as he laughed at the same time, "Oh, and Lee? About the 'no smoking' policy? You know it's really just because I love you that much…"

"Kaz, you know very well that I love you too. But…"

"But what?"

"You're not getting any more until AFTER the dance."

"Hmm, oh yeah…?"

_....Hey, what is he--.......damn dominance!......_

At this time, Lei Wulong was in his personal office doing paper work, when suddenly, his telephone rang.

"Hello?"

"Detective Wulong? Sorry to bother you again, but you have a visitor who says it's very important…" 

Lei sighed into the phone. "It's Bryan Fury, isn't it?"

"…Yes… Sorry, I know how much you two hate each other and all. Do you want me to send him away?"

"Nah, that's ok. I can handle it," Lei replied before hanging up the phone. And sure enough, no less than a second later, Bryan burst through his office doors. Everyone outside the office was staring, of course…

"Hello you asshole!" Bryan sneered.

"Oh fuck off, Fury! Now what do you want?!" Lei rudely replied back as Bryan entered Lei's personal office and slammed the door shut behind him.

Outside, all of the workers were either sighing or rolling their eyes at this time. 

"I swear, I don't know why Wulong let that robotic trash out on parole!" Detective Kilos stated to everyone who was present in the main work room of the headquarters.

"Me neither…" replied detective Strain, "I would have left his sorry ass in jail."

"Me too." At least four other people declared in agreement. Just then, a loud crash was heard from within Lei's office.

Kilos looked up, "Fighting again already. I bet that's the main reason he always keeps his blinds down and shut."

"Yeah," Strain sighed, "I'm telling ya though man, I think everyone of them 'Tekken fighter' people are nuts."

Kilos laughed and nodded in agreement. And then, yet another loud crash was heard from the confines of Lei's office… "Do you think we should see if everything is alright in there, Strain?"

"Nah, don't you remember? He told us and everyone else to ignore it."

"Ah well, if Wulong wants to kick ass, or get his ass kicked, then it's his priority I suppose."

~About One Hour Later In the Office…

"You… and that damned… doggie-style… policy!" Lei spat out in a breathless heap. 

Bryan grinned, "Yes, I am the master," he declared before looking away from Lei (Who was still on the desk…) and down at the office floor, "Oops."

"What… is it?"

"It looks like you just lost yet another one of your automatic pencil sharpeners."

"Damnit! And that's the third… one this week! Do you have any idea how expensive those are, Bryan?!"

Bryan shook his head, "Lei, your hair is a mess."

Lei narrowed his eyes slightly as he smirked, "Well, maybe if I didn't always have you pulling into it like a harness constantly! I swear that I should just cut it back short the way it was during the second tournament…"

Bryan swiftly shook his head. "Hell-no. You're NOT cutting your hair!"

"Whatever," Lei sighed. The truth was, he really wouldn't cut his hair anyway, "And now we must discuss this whole 'dance' ordeal…"

"I think the whole thing's ridiculous. I don't do tuxedos," replied Bryan. 

"Well, get over it! You can't look _that bad in one."_

"That's easy for you to say, Wulong. You're Chinese. The Chinese have always looked good in tuxes. Take Jackie Chan, for instance? Huh, huh?"

"And, what's your point?" Lei asked raising an eyebrow.

"That us Americans just don't look good in tuxes."

"Bryan?"

"Yeah?"

"You're so full of crap sometimes."

"You know you love it though."

"…So…"

"Forest, how is that peppered beef coming along?"

"Uuhh, fine dad."

Marshall Law walked over to his son and place one of those white cooking cap thingies on his head. "Yes, it has always been my dream to see you follow in my footsteps."

"Then why didn't you let me enter the fourth tournament?"

"Uh, 'DUH', Forest. Its cause no one has ever called us by our first names. We're always just referred to simply as 'Law', you see?"

Suddenly, a knock was heard outside of the confines of the cooking department.

"Whaz up home boyz?!"

"Paul?!"

"Yep. So what do you guys think about this whole 'dance' shit?"

Marshall and Forest both sighed simultaneously at this question, before Marshall spoke up. "I think the whole thing's wetarded."

Forest bumped his dad. "Um, don't you mean 're-tarded'?" Paul and Forest both started laughing at this remark.

"Pah!" Marshall spat, "I don't know why the hell I even speak English in the first place!"

"HEY!!! CAN'T A GUY GET SOME SERVICE AROUND HERE?!"

"Ah boy. Well I better go out there and get all those orders," Marshall sighed, "Forest, can you handle the cooking by yourself for about fifteen minutes?"

"Uh, I think so dad," Forest nodded. A couple seconds later, a cooking spatula fell from the shelves above and hit him on the head.

"Um, right son. You do that…" Marshall said as he turned around and headed back out to the restaurant to take orders, "You comin' Paul?"

"Nah, that's ok. I think I want to help Forest do some 'cookin'." Paul smirked.

"Don't you even TRY to do any cooking, Paul. I don't want my customers to die. I worked very hard to get this business going," Marshall declared before exiting the doors… leaving Paul and Forest alone…

~10 minutes later…

Marshall had taken the last of his customer's orders, and was heading to slip them through the order slot in the wall, where Forrest was supposed to be receiving, and cooking the orders in the mean time.

"WHERE'S MY PEPPERED BEEF?!" an ugly man at one of the nearby tables demanded.

"Alright, alright!" Marshall was actually kind of curious as to what was taking his son so damn long to get even the food out in the first place. Forest hadn't had any food out since he had last spoken to him. "What on earth could be taking that kid so long?" Marshall questioned before heading over to the kitchen doors. However, they were locked… "Forest? Paul? What the hell's going on in there? Where's the food?!"

"Shit…" Marshall heard someone mutter from inside the kitchen, before he started knocking on the door.

"I need that peppered beef order!" 

"Hold… on… Dad…"

Marshall's brows furrowed, "Hmm, that sounded strange… Oh well."

~2 minutes later…

Forest suddenly opened the door with the peppered beef in hand. "Sorry… it took… so long…" Forest said breathlessly as he handed the dish, along with several others to his father.

"Why son, why are you all covered in sweat?"

"Uuhh, cooking can be very… exhausting…"

"Hmp." Marshall simply retorted before taking the trays and heading off to some of the tables.

Forest sighed loudly as he turned around and headed back into the confines of the kitchen. Paul, who had zipped up his pants in the mean time, looked up as he entered. "Damn, Forest! You sure did cook that food fast! Are you sure it'll taste ok?"

"Yea, I think so. It's the fact that we kinda ended up spilling the pepper bottle in the process…"

~Up Front…

Marshall was walking around, admiring his wonderful restaurant, until…

"This food sucks!"

"Yea, we have to pay for this stuff?!"

Marshall instantly turned around and went over to the table where all of the punks were sitting. "What did you say?"

One of the men stood up. "You heard me, the food here sucks! This peppered beef is too damn spicy!!!"

In response, Marshall punched the man in the face using the back of his fist. He then took a taste of the peppered beef. "It does not suck! This is gooooood!"

A second later, the man he had just knocked down smashed a bottle on the top of his head…

"You…"

~Back in the Kitchen…

"Uh, Forest?"

"Yea?"

"What the hell's goin' on up front?"

Paul and Forest then went and quickly opened the door to see that Marshall had kinda lost his temper…

"It wuz too damn spicy ya freak!"

Paul and Forest both sweatdropped and looked at each other. "Oops…"

A/N Yes, this has got to be the most retarded thing I have ever written… But like I said, I'm trying. Go on to the next chapter to see how the dance goes, if ya have the guts! J/K! (Goes now to shoot myself…)


	2. Stay Outta the Storage Closet!

__________________

**Where Did All The Guys Go?!**

Chapter two

Stay Outta the Storage Closet!

___________________________

~At this time, it was now six o' clock, and the fighters were beginning to arrive at the Zaibatsu for the dance.

Heihachi had attempted to make everything look all fancy. The main area inside of the Zaibatsu had been decorated to the extreme, with a live orchestra… There were also photographers present to take pictures for the area newspapers, as well as a wide, red satin carpet that led all the way from the glass entry doors, to the street up front.

A few of the fighters were already there. Julia and Xiaoyu were seated on one of the exquisite benches outside as they awaited none other than Jin and Hwoarang.

Xiaoyu was dressed in an expensive, shining pink dress while Julia was wearing a fancy gown which was different shades of green.

"Hey, Julia?"

"Yes, Ling?" Julia had noticed that Xiaoyu had a slight sound of concern in her voice.

"Why do you think we've had such a hard time getting in touch with Jin and Hwoarang lately? It's like they're never home, or they always have some excuse?"

"Oh yeah?" Julia replied. "Well, you know how Hwoarang moved several months ago and all. Well the thing is, I still haven't figured out where to!"

Just then, a long black limo pulled up in front of the end of the red, carpeted path. A driver then got out and headed over to open the passenger door facing the Zaibatsu in the back, but when he tried, he found it to be locked. "You guys ok in there?" The driver asked as he knocked on the shaded window. Just then, he heard the automatic doors unlock, and so he tried opening the door once more.

It was none other than Kazuya Mishima who stepped out, followed closely by the exquisite Lee Chaolan.

"Was everything alright in there? I could have sworn I heard a cry or something of the sort…" The driver asked, arching a brow in suspicion.

Kazuya narrowed his in response. "You're fired!" a second after he said this, however, Lee elbowed him from behind.

"Uuh, fine. You're not."

The retarded driver then began to laugh, "Ah, an April Fools joke, I see!"

"Of course…" Lee replied in one of those 'riiiggghhtt' voices.

A moment later, a crappy old convertible began to pull up behind the limo. It was Hwoarang who stepped out of the driver's side on the right, as Jin did from the passenger's side.

Lee and Kazuya both shook there heads as they looked at each other. "Why won't he just go a head and take the damn money from us, already…?" Lee sighed.

"He said he wanted to do things on his own, remember?" Kazuya declared in a 'proud father' tone of voice.

A thought then crossed Lee's mind, "Hey, with that crappy job Jin has, how does he ever manage paying all the bills on his own?"

Kazuya shrugged as he slipped on his sunglasses, "Beats me." 

"Oh well," Lee replied before also slipping on his sunglasses as they now both headed into the Zaibatsu/hell.

Jin was now attempting to shut the door to the…car without breaking it off in the process. Hwoarang shook his head as he took a closer look at the vehicle from the outside. "Jin, I seriously think you should just go a head and take the damn money from your father and uncle already! Hell, look at this…thing!"

Jin sighed for the hundredth time, "Hwoarang, I'm 21 years old. I can't just keep depending off my family for the rest of my life."

"Jin, you never did depend on them for anything in the first place!" 

Right at this moment, a man came over and attempted to enter the crap car.

"Hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Hwoarang exclaimed as he grabbed the man at the neckline and pushed him against the side of the car, ready to punch him.

"Hwoarang! He's just here to park our car for us!" Jin stated.

"Oh…" Hwoarang then released his grip on the man, and also noticed that a photograph had been taken of him as he was about to punch the crap outta the driver. "Hey hey, NO pictures!"

Jin grinned and shook his head, "Oh, come on Hwoarang. Let's just go in and get this over with…"

They then began to walk side by side over to the carpet which led to the entrance. "Jin, I look like hell in the tux…"

"No you don't, you look great. I have to admit I never thought I'd see the day though."

Hwoarang frowned slightly, "Jin, with my hair slicked back like this, I look like Steve Fox…"

Jin sighed, "It looks fine."

Hwoarang then looked up, "Oh, so you're saying that I _do_ look like Steve Fox then!!!"

Jin sweatdropped. "Uh, no, no, of course not!"

"JIN!!!"

"Hwoarang!!"

They now both looked up. 

"Oh no…"

At this time, a police car drove up.

It was Bryan who stepped out of the driver's side. He seemed extremely calm. Lei, however, who stepped out of the passenger's side, was gasping and wide-eyed.

"Why, whatever is the problem, Lei?" Bryan smiled evilly.

"What the fuck were you trying to do back there?! Get us killed?! I knew I shouldn't have let you drive!! You barely missed hitting at least four cars and seven light poles!!"

"And the bus."

"And the bus!!"

"Ok then."

"OK then…! Wait…"

Bryan slammed the door and then looked back up at Lei's still wide eyes. "Arrest me then, honey," He laughed.

"Grrr…"

Also at this time, a Chinese food delivery truck pulled up.

Marshall Law stepped out of the driver's seat up front, while Paul and Forest both exited from the back of the delivery truck.

Marshall was now in a very pissed-off mood. He had just lost his restaurant, and been sued by at least four people…

"Uh, sorry again about the peppered beef, dad…" stated Forest.

"Son, the food was great. The problem is, these people just don't know good food these days."

Paul then put his left arm around Forest's neck. "Don't worry pal, you know how much I love your Chinese food!" Forest blushed as he said this.

Marshall sighed, "Nah, its ok. I'm just going to reopen the restaurant into a dojo now."

"Uh oh…" 

~20 Minutes later…

At this time, all of the fighters had arrived and were now suffering the wrath of Heihachi's choice of music…

"I can't take much more of this shit…" Eddy sighed.

Christie did the same, "I like, hate this so, and stuff."

"I NEED to do some real danc'n man!"

"Hmm," Christie thought, "Hey, I've got, like, an idea!"

Kazuya was sitting all alone at a table, until Nina Williams walked over and joined him. "Hey Kazuya." She said in an 'attempted' sexy voice.

"Uuhh… What do you want?"

"Well, have you seen Lee anywhere?" She asked.

Kazuya arched a brow in response. "What are you getting at?"

"Well… You see… fine, I'll just tell you. You see, Anna and I both want to fuck Lee."

Kazuya, who was drinking champagne as she said this, spit it all right out…

"Yea, and I can't let that slut-sister of mine get to him first! Lee is MINE!"

And as Kazuya now heard this, he broke the champagne glass he had been holding into pieces as he clenched his fist around it…

"Kazuya? Are you… ok?" 

Hwoarang was now dancing with Julia, as Jin was with Xiaoyu to the terrible music…

"Ouch! Uh, Ling…? Ouch!"

"Yes, Jin?!"

"Could you at least _try_ not to step on my feet…?"

Xiaoyu now looked like she was going to cry. "Oh, I'm so sorry Jinny! I swear I didn't mean to make you hate me!"

Jin was, well, freaked…

"Calm down, calm down. I'm not mad at you. I'm the one here who sucks at dancing. Thank god the music has been slow so far…"

"Don't you just love dancing, Hwoarang?" Julia asked.

"Oh… yes. Though I must say that this opera shit aint my style."

Julia shook her head. "Oh Hwoarang, you must _feel the music, and listen to the __spirits voices." _

"Um, yea……"

Steve Fox was dancing with Miharu, while Lei danced with Michelle.

"That asshole Hwoarang is copying my way-cool hair style!" Steve stated.

"You do have to admit that he is awfully hot though?" Miharu replied.

"Yea… I mean, hell no!"

"Lei, why ever do you think that Bryan Fury keeps giving us those dirty mean looks from across the room?" Michelle asked.

Lei looked over her shoulder, gesturing for Bryan to 'cut it out'. "Well, uh, we are rivals, ya know."

"Ah, I see. Just trying to show his real feelings for you."

"I guess you could say that."

Michelle then glanced over to where Hwoarang and Julia were dancing. "How sweet that they're dancing together. I know how much my little Julia wants that redhead."

_ It looks like he can't stand her.... Hmm, __Bryan__ is still looking at me. How sweet, I just love to make him jealous. Heh heh!_

Kazuya was now looking for Lee. For two reasons. One was because he didn't want him messing around with the William sluts. And two, he was stiff……

He then couldn't help but hear Yoshimitsu talking to King.

"Hey, do you think Chaolan will go for it, Yoshi?"

"Yeah, it looks like Anna is about to get him good…"

After hearing this, Kazuya quickly ran into the halls where King and Yoshimitsu had just come from, to see Anna attempting to hand Lee some kind of drink. Kazuya knew it had to have been spiked with something…

"Here Lee, have a drink baby."

"Um, I don't know Anna…"

Just then, Lee watched in shock as Anna was suddenly zapped with a laser of some sort. He then looked down the hall to see Kazuya.

"That slut!" Kazuya shouted down the hall.

Lee looked down at Anna's fallen body. "I think she died."

"Good. Now, what do you say we have a little 'fun' in the main storage closet?"

Lee thought about this for a moment. They were at a dance, they could easily be busted, and not to mention that this was the Zaibatsu they were talking about, so Heihachi most likely had cameras set up everywhere…

"Sure, why not?"

Forest and Paul were over by the punch bowl and buffet table, as they watched Ganryu devourer practically the whole damn thing, the table along with it…

"Dayum!" Exclaimed Paul.

"You know what?" asked Forest.

"What?"

"This dance sux ass!"

Then, a thought crossed Paul's mind. "Hey, I have an idea!"

"What?"

"What do you say we go do some *stuff* in that storage closet over there?"

"Ok!"

Hwoarang and Jin had finally been given a break from dancing with Julia and Xiaoyu, but they were to be back soon…

"Jin, I, I can't take it anymore!!"

Jin shook his head. "Me neither. But hey, I have an idea babe?"

"What's that?"

Jin then whispered something in Hwoarang's ear.

"Sure!"

Lei had just finished dancing with Michelle, who was now being stalked by Ganryu. He was heading over to the punch bowl, when suddenly, he felt a grip on his arm.

"Huh, Bryan!"

"Wulong, this dance sucks!"

"No shit…"

"Hey, but I have an *idea*." Bryan replied with his good ol' smirky smile.

(You know what it is…)

Kazuya and Lee were now walking back into the main room where the dance was.

"Ok Lee, I just have to go to the restroom first. You go ahead and wait in the storage closet over there in the back."

"Ok, I'll be looking forward to your arrival in the meantime."

"Oh shit, Jin! I think they saw us!"

Jin sighed. Hwoarang was right… "You go ahead and wait in the closet, and I'll be there after I take care of the girls." He smiled evilly.

"Jin, you don't get too evil very often, but when you do…… I love it!" 

Christie and Eddy had just returned with a huge stereo system, after killing all of the instrumentals… They couldn't take anymore of the shit music.

"Are you ready Eddy? Hey! Like, that totally rhymed!"

"Yeah babe, let's turn on the REAL music now!" Eddy declared before plugging in the stereo, as the song "Lose Yourself" came on.

Everyone in the room started cheering for them shortly afterwards.

Suddenly, Nina walked in looking very confused… 

"Hey, my sister… She's…dead…"

Steve walked up to her. "My, Aunt Anna's dead?"

"Yes son…"

"…Alright!!!"

Lee was all alone, in the dark storage closet. It was actually pretty big at that. Until he heard the door swiftly open, and then shut…

_ Hmm, that was pretty fast..._

Lee was about to say something, but he heard a "Sshhh."

_ Ok, now that didn't sound like Kazuya's 'Sshhh.' Oh well, he's probably just trying to pull that mind-fuck stuff again._

He then felt himself being forcefully pushed back up against the wall, but he just 'knew' it had to be his lover…

Kazuya had just re-entered the main room and was on his way to, well, you know… He looked around to make sure that no one saw him heading back toward the storage closet, but then saw that his son Jin apparently had the same idea.

"Jin, what the hell are you doing going into that closet?!"

Jin swiftly turned around. "Uuhh, uuhh, nothing dad… Why were _you_ apparently about to do the same thing though?!"

"Uuhh, hey! I'm your father, and it's your job to answer me first!"

"Well, you see, um, Ling, Julia, Hwoarang, and me are playing a game of hide-and-seek. Yeah, it was Ling's idea, of course. And I think that Hwoarang, is 'hiding' in here. Just 'hiding'. Yeah."

Suddenly, a moan was heard from within the closet…

Kazuya now had a look on his face that said nothing short of "DAMN!" Jin had of course heard this too, so he and Kazuya both swiftly attempted to open the door, until they flung it open so damn hard, that it nearly broke off. Kazuya then reached for the light switch and……

"WHAT THE FUCK?!!"

"AHHH!!!"

"AHHH!!!"

"SHIT!!!"

They had walked in to see Hwoarang deep-throating Lee in a big kiss who was now pinned up against the wall, and had apparently had his shirt ripped off in the process…

"HWOARANG??!!" Lee spoke all freaked out…

Hwoarang looked like he was about to faint…

Just then, the closet door opened once more as Bryan dragged Lei by his hand into the storage room… They realized shortly afterwards that it was already somewhat occupied…

"Uuh, it's not what it looks like!" Lei exclaimed.

"Yea!" Agreed Bryan, "I brought him back here to fu-kick his ass!"

No one else in the closet bought this, of course…

"Hey?" Lei asked, "What the hell's going on in here anyway? And why the fuck has Lee's shirt been torn off?!" Then, a bad thought crossed Lei's mind… He then gave a series a dirty looks to Kazuya, Jin, and Hwoarang… "Christ you guys are sick!!"

No less than two seconds later, the closet door flung open once more as Paul and Forest ran in, holding hands. They were then quite shocked to see the closet was full themselves.

After finally catching his breath, Lee went to the center of the closet. "You know what?"

"What?!"

"Us Chinese are never the dominant ones…"

"…………"

Hwoarang then looked up. "Hey, I'm not Chinese!"

(In a camera room)

Heihachi had seen it all, and he now lay dead on the floor, with a gun in hand…

Outside, the music had really started, but everyone had noticed the lack in hot guys…

"Julia?" Xiaoyu asked in a concerned tone of voice.

"Uh huh?"

** "Where did all the guys go?!!"**

**A/N** Ok, yes, this is definitely the most retarded and weird thing I have ever written. It was actually a dare to write this too, but of course I went a head and did. Anyway, I hope you found this at least a little funny, and I hope you'll review! Just plz, plz, don't flame me…… T_T (Goes to shoot myself again…)


	3. Everyone Deserves A Little R E S P E C T

**A/N **I decided to continue this fic! I was very happy to see all of the good reviews, so I guess I will make this continuous! I love to write romance, but I have a humorous side as well. Another thing that makes me different from the majority of the Tekken yaoi fans, is that Jin/Hwo is actually not my main focus. I actually love every one of the parings I write about almost equally. (I hope this doesn't sound too weird…) Anyway, here's the next chapter!

_________________

**Where Did All The Guys Go?!**

Chapter 3

Everyone Deserves A Little **R-E-S-P-E-C-T**

___________________________

*~*The Following day after the… dance…

Jin and Hwoarang were on their way to McDonalds for some grub… While in the crap car…

"You know what, Hwoarang?" Jin asked.

"What?"

"That was quite possibly the weirdest experience I've ever had…"

Hwoarang nodded. "I'd have to agree… I mean, who would have expected that, you know…"

"Yeah, that my father and, Lee… are…… Bryan and Lei…… Paul and Forest…… It's just, uh, I wasn't expecting it, that's all…" replied Jin. 

"Well, remember though, we did all make a pact not to say anything to anyone."

Jin agreed. "I won't, though I'd sure love to say something to Julia sometimes! 'It' really pisses me off!" he then clenched his fist around the steering wheel.

Hwoarang whistled. "I smell a jealous someone."

Jin sighed, "Oh, cut the crap Hwoarang. You know I never get jealous."

"Fuck that! You give a death glare when anyone gets anywhere near me! I remember when we were at that club the other day, a girl hit on me at the bar and asked me to dance. You walked over and stood there with your arms crossed, and then she suddenly ran away screaming! When I looked at you, your eyes were glowing red!"

_ Oh yeah.... _"I don't remember any such thing." 

"PAH!"

They then pulled up at McDonalds, and entered the horrible fast food joint. (In Jin's opinion, that is)

Jin walked up to the register to order. "I'll have a meat-free salad shake, please. And a bottle of Evian."

"Eww!" Hwoarang spat from behind.

"Yes sir, and how about you?" The man at the register asked.

"I'll have a Big Mac #1 combo, *super-sized*, coke for the drink, and an extra-large M&M McFlurry!"

"Um, we don't have 'extra' large McFlurrys, sir…"

"Why the hell can't you just put it in the super-size drink cup?!"

"Ahem…" Jin tapped Hwoarang on the shoulder.

"What?"

"I think we need to have a little talk about a *healthy* diet…" 

Hwoarang shook his head. "You stick to your crap diet, and I'll stick to mine," He declared as he picked up the tray for his food and went over to sit in a booth, followed by Jin.

Hwoarang didn't sit down, however. "I'll be back in a second, Jin. I have to take a piss break."

(Everyone looks at Hwoarang and the cricket sound is heard.)

Jin sweatdropped and then whispered, "Um, do you think you could have said that in a more, I don't know, *polite* manner?"

Hwoarang just laughed as he walked away.

Jin sat there quietly, until he heard the two young girls in the booth behind him talking…

"Like, I think that redheaded guy is sooo hot!"

"Really, I saw him go into the restroom, I think I'm going to wait for him to come out, and then seduce him!"

"Like, not if I get to him first!"

They both swiftly stood up, to look way up to Jin, who was looking down at them with his arms crossed…

"He's taken," he said as sternly as possible.

The two girls were, well, scared…

"Li-li-like, I think I left my lipstick in the car!" she then ran out…

"Me too!" (Runs out as well)

"Sluts…" Jin muttered before taking a closer look at Hwoarang's choice of food. "Hmm…"

Hwoarang came out of the restroom several minutes later and walked back over to the booth where he had set his food……only to notice that it had all been replaced with a salad……

"What-the-hell?!"

Jin sat there looking all calm as usual, while Hwoarang looked all pissed, as usual.

"This is healthier for you. Try it, it's good. Just don't use any dressing or bacon bits, because those are also unhealthy."

Hwoarang just stood there, clenching his fist and teeth to the max…

"Oh come on Hwoarang! That stuff you would have eaten was sure to take years off of your life!"

"DAMNIT JIN!!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY **LOVER NOT MY MOTHER!!!"**

(Everyone is quiet and no sound is heard, other than a car alarm that went off right as he said this)

"Oops…"

Kazuya and Lee were back at their mansion… having an argument…

"Kazuya, I am sick of this crap of yours! Now WHERE are they?!!"

Kazuya just stood there.

"You heard me! What the fuck did you do with my cigarettes this time?!"

"Hmp. You'll be lucky if I got rid of them, want you now?" Kazuya smirked.

Lee took a step, or 'stomp' closer. "You better tell me where they are right now, before I—"

"Before you what?!" (Also takes a step closer)

"Grr. You did get rid of them *again*, didn't you?"

Kazuya smiled evilly. "And what if I were to say *I did*?"

(Takes another step) "What if I were to say *go to hell*, and then walk right out those front doors?!!"

(Takes another step) "What if I were to say *you'll be back before sunset*, or I'll bring you back myself?!" 

(Another step) "Then I would say *what if I were to leave the country*?!"

(Yet another one) "Then I would say *I'll call every damn airport around, and have them shut down the flights until further notice*!"

They were now noise to noise at this time.

"Then Fuck you!!!"

"Fuck you too!!!"

(Start to make out)

(Kazuya carries Lee up the stairs to the bedroom)

_ -3 hours later-_

Lee was now getting into his Honda and on his way up to a nearby gas station.

_ Damnit! It happened again! Every time I say I'm going to finally teach him a lesson, it happens again!_

He sighed as he turned the keys and took off.

~At the gas station…

Lee had told Kazuya he was going to get gas for his Honda, but of course he had other plans in mind… He smiled as he walked up to the cashier.

"Hel-lo sir!" The women smiled. _Damn, he's hot!!!_

"Yes, I would like a box of Virginia Lights, please?" Lee asked with a wink. He loved to fuck with every girl's mind.

"Sure thing!" She replied in a dreamy voice, "These are my favourite brand as well."

"Here's my card. It works on everything, everywhere, and has *NO* limit."

_ Oh my god, one of the hottest guys I've ever seen, and the richest too! _"So, uh, you have a girlfriend Mr.-(Looks at the card) Chaolan?"

"Actually… no, I don't." (Hey, he was being honest?)

"So, would you want to do some *stuff* together? Maybe catch a movie? Or dinner?"

_ I'm not that low.... _"You know I'd love to, but—"

(Cash register starts to beep)

"Why, whatever is wrong?" Lee asked as he noticed the girl was looking very strangely at whatever the cash register said.

She then gave him a very, *VERY* weird look. "Um, according to federal orders and the restrictions under your name, I am not allowed to sale you any alcoholic beverages, drugs with high risks, or nicotine products……"

** (Zipper sound)**

** "KAZUYA!!!!"**

(Echoes throughout all the city) 

At this time, Lei and Bryan had arrived back at the headquarters, though Lei was late because they had been doing…… stuff.

Detective Kilos looked up from his paperwork when he saw them enter through the main doors. "So, how did the dance crud go?" _Hmm, late again.... More fighting, I suppose._

Lei's brows furrowed. "It was very…… interesting…"

Detective Strain then ran in. "Lei! There's a robbery in progress down at the Central Fargo Bank, and they've got loaded missiles! We need you there pronto!"

One of those thought bubble thingies then appeared above Bryan's head. It was a vision of Lei being shot……

Lei nodded. "I'm on it! Just let me go get some more ammunition out of the desk in my office!"

He then ran quickly into his office, followed by the not-so-happy Bryan… Bryan shut and locked the door to Lei's office shortly after they'd entered.

"Bryan, NOT now! I have to get down to that bank to take on those convicts! We've been after them for months now!"

Lei then ran toward the door, but Bryan just stood there, blocking him from going any further. 

"Move!"

"I don't think so."

"What the hell are you trying to pull?! This is serious, Bryan! People's lives could be in danger!"

Bryan nodded seriously. "Exactly. And you're not going to be one of them." 

Lei narrowed his eyebrows. "Move," he said sternly, "You don't own me."

"Yes, I do."

At this time Lei was, for lack of the better words, pissed… In a fluster, he looked away for only a split second, when…… *WHAP*…!

-2 hours later…-

"Uuhh…" Lei groaned as he woke up. "What the hell happened?" He then jumped up as an icepack fell right off of his head, "The bank!" He looked around to realize that he was no longer in his office, but on a couch outside of it in the main workroom.

"So, you're finally awake, eh?"

"Kilos! What's going on?!"

"Um, you don't remember?"

"No, I-wait a minute… Bryan!!!"

Kilos nodded. "Er, I think you kinda got knocked out…" 

"Then, then what about the convicts??!!"

"Well, actually, Bryan kinda went down there and took care of it himself…"

Detective Kilos then watched as Lei punched his fist into the wall so hard, that it left a dent…

** "Where is he?!!"** Lei growled through clenched teeth.

Kilos was getting kinda freaked. Lei had never been one to lose his temper before, especially like this…

"I guess he's still down there, but I'm not sure…"

_ He is really going to pay for this!!! I could, no I wouldn't try to hurt him.... But I'll think of something damnit!!!_

Marshall Law had just bought some new furniture (??? As to where he got the money), and he had asked Paul Phoenix and his son Forest to come over and help him with getting it all into his house.

He stood waiting in his front yard. "What?! ANOTHER ticket?! What the hell's the big deal about having four or five little flamingos in your front yard?! They're decorative!" He yelled as several of his neighbours all gave him the 'you're insane' look…

"Well, they are!!" He then watched down the street as he now saw Paul and his son pull up on a motorcycle.

"Hey Marshall so-hey, you got told off for the flamingos again, didn't ya?!" Paul laughed.

"Well… no!"

Forest shook his head. "Let's just get on with moving the furniture dad." _I am REALLY scared to see what he has picked up this time...._

"Come on guys, it's over here on my car."

Paul and Forest both blinked and looked at each other. "*On* the car…?" They both asked.

Marshall nodded. "That's right. Hey, I wasn't about to pay extra for one of those damn, uh, oh yeah, 'moving van' things. All a man needs these days to get the job done is his own to hands and some strong ropes."

Paul and Forest still had the 'riiggghhtt' look on their faces as Marshall led them over to his car parked on the side of the house.

"Well, here it is guys."

Forest and Paul both looked waaaay up at the enormous mountain.

"Now then, let's get the sofa first," suggested Marshall in a proud voice.

"Uh, sure man…" Paul said as he reached up to help Marshall get the sofa. Forest reached up to help too, when Paul knocked his hands away. "You might wanna set this one out kid."

"Kid?"

Marshall nodded. "Yes, I think Paul maybe right son."

"But, but—"

"No buts son."

"FINE! I'll just get this cabinet then." he reached up to get the cabinet, when-

"I don't think so," said Paul as he and Marshall began to carry the couch in across the front yard.

"Damnit." Forest muttered as he just stood there leaning up against the car. He waited until Paul and his father were inside. "This is crap! I'm just as strong as either of them are!" He declared before looking up to choose something to carry in. _How the fuck did he manage a refrigerator??!!_

He was about to get something, when Paul and Marshall walked out again.

"NO SON!!!"

Forest then gave Paul a pleading look, basically asking for some backup.

"I think your father's right…"

"WHAT?!"

"Come on Paul, now let's get that refrigerator!"

_ Refrigerator?!_

Forest was pretty angry by now as he watched his father and his 'lover' get the huge-ass refrigerator and begin to carry it inside…

"Ok, that's it." Forest declared as he reached up to get the damn big cabinet that he was going to get before. By this time, Paul and Marshall had already made it inside. _I'll show them! I'll show them that I'm no 'kid'!_

Forest struggled a bit as he carried it in, but he managed. Of course Paul would have to exit again right at this time.

Paul's eyes widened. "Forest! You put that down now! You'll hurt yourself!"

"I…can…handle…it." Forest said as he kept going, even after he saw Paul running straight toward him. He had nearly made it to the half-way point, when suddenly, he tripped…

** "****FOREST****!!!"**

** BAM!!!**

_ Damn flamingo!!!_

-At the hospital…-

Marshall and Paul both sat in the waiting room, as a nurse stepped out. "He's fine, it's only a second degree sprain. He just needs to stay off of it for at least three weeks."

They then watched as Forest came out through the doors, on crutches. 

Paul spoke up as he saw this, "Are you sure a wheelchair wouldn't be best?"

"Well, if you insist…" The nurse shrugged.

Forest narrowed his brows. "Paul, I can handle the crutches just fine!"

"Just like the cabinet, huh?"

"…It was the flamingo…!!!"

The nurse looked, well, freaked…

Marshall then rolled in a wheelchair as Forest looked even MORE pissed.

"Ok Forest," Paul spoke seriously, "I'm going to see to it that you don't do anything to hurt yourself like this ever again!"

** "……………."**

Lee sighed as he picked up the telephone and laid down the phone numbers of Lei, Forest, and Hwoarang. Lee was sure that these guys were the ones classified as the 'not dominant' ones, and they all needed to have a meeting to decide what they could do about earning a little more respect!

**A/N **Ok, there was my next retarded chapter. In the next one, the ones who feel like they're not getting enough respect and dominance will form a plan to try and get back at them to teach them a lesson. So, how will it go, and what is the plan? Anyway, I hope you all will still review! I don't live on them, but, well I guess I kinda do…. But they encourage me to write more and faster! ^__^;;


	4. Making the Getaway

**A/N **Ok, I know it may seem like I've been on a bit of hiatus for a while, but I've really been working on four new slash fics, along with my 'A New Beginning' one as well. I've discovered that it's much easier to get several chapters written and then post one, then it is to post a chapter and not have a very good idea on what the next one exactly is to be about. Well, it's easier for me at least. And now on with my dumb fic!

__________________

**Where Did All The Guys Go?!**

Chapter 4

Making the Getaway

__________________________

Lee had gotten out the supposed 'uke' phone numbers and was now seated at his personal desk in one of the many rooms.

"Hmm. I've got to be careful though in doing this. If at any time the wrong end of the pairing was to answer the phone, they might think something is up. Well, something is…but NOT what they would be thinking!"

He randomly picked up one of the phone numbers, which turned out to be Forest's, and dialed the number as he adjusted his headset.

"Uuh, hello?"

_ Thank god that it was __Forest__ who answered!!! "Hey Forest, it's Lee."_

_ What the fuck?! _ "Well, uh, what do you want?"

"I was wanting to know if you would be willing to attend a meeting I have scheduled. But it won't just be us two, Hwoarang and Lei should also be there."

"Whatever, I guess…"

"Why Forest, you sure do sound depressed."

"I kinda twisted my ankle, and Paul's been treating me like a baby ever since… Not that it was any different before…!"

"Well that's exactly what the meeting is for. It's shall be known as 'The Chinese Quest for Dominance!' We'll all form a solution to get back these asshole semes of ours! "

Forest thought about this for a moment. Would he really go behind Paul's back like this…? "Hell yeah! Count me in!"

"Forest! You're supposed to be taking your afternoon nap!!!"

(Lee realized that this was obviously Paul in the background…)

Forest lowered his voice, "Where, and what time?"

"Today at six, and I'll pick ya up. But do you think you'll really be able to ditch Paul that easily, and especially on crutches?" Lee arched a brow as he spoke this.

Forest sweatdropped. "Well, er, he kinda threw the crutches away to force me to use a wheelchair… But don't worry! I can hop out!"

"Forest! Get to sleep!" Paul yelled from the kitchen…… He was trying to cook since he didn't want Forest to. It wasn't going well……

Forest sighed, "Don't worry, it shouldn't be _that _hard. Uh oh! I have to go now, the kitchen's on fire! Paul? Paul?!!"

Lee then heard the phone drop……

(Dial tone…)

Lee hung up the phone. "Well, that was… weird…" 

He then picked up the next number, which was Lei's, and dialled it. Well, it was his work number, but it would work well enough.

"Hello, how may I help you?" A female secretary spoke.

"Get me Detective Wulong."

"Is this 'Bryan Fury', by any chance?"

"Um, no, it's not."

_ It is. _"Well, uh, hold on, I'll patch you into his personal office line then…"

"Well, at least this seems to be going smoothly."

*Pick up…*

"BRYAN!!! YOU ASSHOLE YOU'RE SURE'S HELL NOT GETTING ANY FROM ME TONIGHT AND THIS TIME I REALLY DO HAVE A HEADACHE SO—"

Lee felt like his head was going to explode at any moment, considering it was a headset he had on.

"LEI!!!! THIS IS NOT BRYAN DAMNIT!!!"

"……Oh……"

"It's Lee Chaolan!"

"…Uh, ha ha ha, um that was just a joke I swear I knew that was you, and uh—"

"LEI! It's O-K! This is exactly what I've been talking about… I need you to attend a meeting today, a meeting to regain our dominance!!"

"……???……"

"Yes, the 'Chinese Quest for Dominance'!"

"Hmm, maybe this would be a good way to teach my babe-uh, I mean, 'Bryan', a lesson!"

"Ok! I'll pick you up at your headquarters around six then!"

(Hang up)

"Now, only Hwoarang remains." Lee spoke as he now picked up Hwoarang's number, well, it was Jin's, but he knew it had to be Hwoarang's number now too.

*Ring* *Ring*

"Hello?"

_ Shit, it's Jin! _ "Oh, hi Jin!"

_ Well, guess I shouldn't refer to him as 'uncle' any more...._ "Hey Lee. What's up?"

"Well, I was actually hoping to speak to Hwoarang for a second."

Jin now remembered the whole *storage closet* incident from the night before. "Why is this?" he asked in a suspicious manner.

Lee sighed at the tone in Jin's voice, "Jin, it's NOT like that! I just need to ask him about, uh, my motorcycle! Yeah, that's it! He knows a lot about them," he assured.

Jin thought about this for a moment. "Lee, you don't have a motorcycle."

"Uuh, I just got one?"

"Ooo-K. Well, uh, hold on, I guess…"

Lee could tell that Jin didn't believe him, but he didn't care for now. He was determined to take care of this.

" 'sup'?"

_ Zup? _"Huh?!"

Hwoarang sighed, "Hello."

"Oh…"

"What do you want to know about motorcycles?"

"Actually, it's not really about motorcycles…"

Hwoarang then remembered the *storage closet*. "Uuh, this isn—"

"This is NOT about the *'storage closet*! Uh, in a way, I suppose…"

"…I'm listnen?"

"Listen, I can bet that Jin has been given ya a lot of *dominance* trouble, huh?"

Hwoarang sighed once more, "Well, uh, kinda—I mean no, of course not!"

Lee now sighed himself. "It's ok Hwoarang. You're not the only one… I want you to attend a meeting at six. It's 'The Chinese Quest for Dominance!' Lei and Forrest will be there as well, and then we'll all figure out what to do about all this from there."

"Hmm," Hwoarang thought for a moment. Then he remembered the tragic loss of his $0.99 cent Big Mac…… "Ok, I'm in."

"Great. See you then. Just make sure Jin doesn't find out."

"Don't worry, I already have an *idea*. Heh heh."

"Bye."

"Later."

(Hang up)

Hwoarang was about to get up from his seat at the kitchen table, when he remembered something……

_ Hey......I'm not Chinese!!!_

Lee grinned at this time as he too hung up the phone. Now he would finally teach Kazuya to put empathy over apathy. 

*5:35 p.m.*

Currently at Kazuya & Lee's mansion, Kazuya was sitting on the huge black-leather couch while watching the even more huge flat-screen TV. He then noticed Lee running down the stairs rather hurriedly, and he was also dressed rather nicely at that. This looked awfully suspicious… "Kazuya, I'm going out," Lee stated before heading toward the door.

Kazuya rose from his seat on the couch, "Where did you say where you were going again?"

"I didn't," Lee simply replied, without even turning around as he continued to venture toward the main doors.

"Don't even _think _about getting smart with me, Chaolan. Don't think I didn't find out about your little 'attempted' purchase down at the gas station earlier today."

Lee growled and turned around, though Kazuya was about to turn him around anyway… "Oh, and you don't think that I don't know how you fucked-up my credit accounts?! Hell Kazuya, you know you had no right to do that!!"

"Oh yes I did," Kazuya assured.

Lee was getting very frustrated at this point. There was NO way any of the others could have it as bad as he did, but since Lee was indeed up to something, though not what Kazuya most likely had in mind, this meant he didn't need to start a fight at the moment.

"Fine. You're right, Kazuya. But now I really must be going. I have an… appointment."

Kazuya then noticed something else, "Lee, is that cologne you're wearing?" he arched a brow.

"Christ Kaz! Yes, ok! Excuse me if I like to look & smell nice when I go out!"

"Hmm," Kazuya thought for a moment, "Maybe I should accompany you to this… 'appointment?'"

"…That wont be necessary," Lee stated before once more turning around and then heading for the doors. He heard Kazuya start to step up behind him as he opened one, and next thing he knew, he was sprinting out the door to the long, circular drive…

Ok…now Kazuya was sprinting behind him, but Lee definitely had the edge in this case. Speed was one of the only things he really had in his favour over Kazuya. When he came up to his Honda, he wasted no time and did a double-flip to land in the driver's seat of his Honda, and right before Kazuya made it to the car as well, Lee floored the gas to the max as the engine roared, and was long gone.

"LEE YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW OR I'LL—"

(A little old lady who had seen & heard the whole thing while walking her small dog has frozen in his driveway…)

"…………"

"…………"

"…WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT GRANNY?!"

"…Oh good heavens! Hurry up Toto!"

"Ruff!"

"Grr… Lee is REALLY going to pay for this, I better have him tracked down immediately! Hmm, maybe Lei Wulong's agency could be as to some assistance…"

The Readers: (Uh oh…)

Frrest was in luck; Paul had set fourth on his motorcycle to the drug store to get him some extra-strength Tylenol. Though, he was a bit worried to as what Paul's reaction might be when he would return only to find him gone, so Forest had left a note that he had gone out with his father. Since Forest knew that Marshall was so busy with being sued and all, Paul would have a hard time getting in touch with him to prove he had indeed been lying.

A few seconds later, Forest heard the honking of Lee's car in his front yard.

Lee sighed as he waited outside. He really WOULD be in for it the next time he faced Kazuya, so he had to think of something, or Kazuya would probably put a leash on him for good…

No sooner had he thought of this, when the front door to Forest's house opened, and Forest 'hopped' out on his right leg, while his left foot had a cast on it.

"Damn…those…flamingos…" Forest muttered before entering Lee's car and sitting in the passenger's side.

"And how did you say this happened again?" Lee now asked.

"I tripped on a pink flamingo while carrying a cabinet across my dad's front lawn."

"……O…K…"

"Just shut up and drive…"

Lei was just about to exit his office. He sighed loudly as he saw Bryan approaching it through the blinds. Lei then hurriedly made it straight out the door, he knew Bryan wouldn't attempt a scene in front of everyone, especially at a police station.

Lei refused eye contact as he and Bryan walked toward each other, Lei then walked straight past Bryan as he stared straight on ahead toward the front glass doors without so much as a word…

Bryan turned sharply and grabbed Lei by the arm to stop him.

"You let me go right this instant Fury!"

Bryan arched a brow at this. It had been a long time since Lei had referred to him as 'Fury.' This meant he was definitely more than just a little ticked off. "Lei, what the—"

"That's 'Detective' Wulong to you, asshole!" Lei declared as he roughly jerked his arm free of Bryan's grasp.

Bryan now looked around the workroom of the police station. They had already caught more than just a little attention, as everyone was staring at them…

"Um, do you think you could keep it down a little, Lei?"

"Grr…DON'T YOU FUCKING CALL ME THAT YOU HAVE 'NO' RIGHT TO ADDRESS ME SO INFORMALLY!!!" 

*Everyone is frozen in place, even a guy who had been pouring coffee at the time who froze while still pouring it, as it now overflowed in the cup and dripped all over the floor…

Lei was now panting slightly from the rather loud yelling he had just done.

Bryan REALLY wanted to say something, but they had already attracted more than enough attention. Lei thus continued walking away, and then Bryan noticed he was heading out the doors.

Lei roughly swung one of the glass doors open, so hard in fact, that he actually left a few spider web-like cracks in it from where his palm had made contact with the glass… He was pissed, and when Lee came by to pick him up, he could really care less if Bryan saw or not at the moment.

Bryan then exited the headquarters through the same door Lei had a second ago, as he noticed Lei had opened it rather, well, rough.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Bryan demanded.

Lei didn't answer, or turn around. He just stood facing the street with his arms crossed.

Bryan had finally had enough of this. He looked around to make sure no one was close within range of view, before he swiftly grabbed a hold of Lei's waist from behind and then sharply pushed him up against the nearby brick wall of the police headquarters.

"Now, explain yourself!" Bryan demanded once more, even though he was sure by now that Lei was referring to the 'K.O. incident' from earlier that day. 

Lei didn't really give much of a reply though. "Get… away… from me right… now!!" Lei growled rather sternly.

Bryan was now feeling pretty angry towards Lei himself, and even more, possessive… "You listen here Lei Wulong, you belong to *me*, and there's nothing you can do about it!"

_ It's true… _"Grr…"

Just then, Lee and Forest pulled up on the side of the street in Lee's Honda. They both had noticed Lei was in a predicament at the moment…

Lee then honked the horn to his car, as Bryan turned his head to the side, giving Lei the distraction he needed to swiftly push Bryan away from him before running to the car. Bryan very well recognized the two seated in the car to be Lee Chaolan and Forest Law, but what the hell was going on here?

"What the hell is going on here?!"

"Floor it!!" Lei yelled as Lee laughed while Forest gave him a high-five. Bryan tried to make it to the car before it took off, but he ended up just missing it, as Kazuya had earlier on…

Bryan just stood there now. He was very confused… "What…the…fuck…?"

Just then, Detective Chon opened one of the doors to see Bryan outside, but no Lei. "Um, is Detective Wulong out here? I have an urgent call for him from Kazuya Mishima."

"What?! I think you better let me take this call."

Hwoarang was now waiting for Lee to arrive himself. Jin was in the bathtub currently, so this was perfect timing. Hwoarang now opened the bathroom door to where Jin was in the tub.

Jin smiled slyly as Hwoarang opened the door, "So, you changed your mind about joining me for a long…hot…bath?"

Hwoarang chuckled, "You know I'd like to, but I have to go pick up some lube."

"Uh, but we have plenty?"

"I mean for my motorcycle, Jin."

"…Oh…I knew that…"

"I'll be back later babe," Hwoarang then turned around to shut the door when—

"Wait a second…" Jin muttered as Hwoarang turned around. "Are you sure you're not really going somewhere with… Lee… by any chance?"

Hwoarang sweatdropped. "Uh, no! Of course not! Where the hell would you get a crazy idea like that?!"

Just then, a car horn was heard from out side the apartment. Hwoarang proceeded to go out the door at this time, but Jin caught on pretty fast…

"Wait a minute…I know that horn…It's the horn to Lee's Honda!!"

"NO it's not! Look, I'm leaving now, so I'll see you later," Hwoarang said before making a rather 'quick' departure and sprinting out the bathroom door, and to the front.

Jin swiftly rose from the bathtub, and jumped right out as he made his way out the bathroom door as well, delirious of the fact that he was getting water all over the place. He ran over to the front door and quickly opened it to see……two boy scouts on the other side… 

"…………"

"…………"

Jin then looked down… "Aahhh!!" before turning around and slamming the door shut.

"You don't want any *cookies?!*" Jin heard one of them laugh from outside.

"Grr," he growled, "These kids are learning all of that dang slang from the internet these days." He then remembered Hwoarang, and in an instant ran over and peeked through the window blinds to see a white car heading down the street in the distance…

"It… it IS Lee!! But… but… it can't be… he wouldn't… but what if… oh no… NO!!" Jin was in a state of pure shock, and decided to call his father and see if he knew anything about this…

"Whoo hoo!!" Hwoarang shouted from the back seat of Lee's Honda as Lei gave him a high five after Forest had.

"Hwoarang?" Lee asked.

"Uh huh?"

"Did Jin see me?"

"Uh…no…?"

"Damn! Now Kazuya will hear about this for sure!"

"You know what?" Lei spoke up, "I think Forest is the only one of us who's gotten away with this so far."

"Of course," Forest casually sighed, "I am, after all, the most intelligent."

** "Forest WHAT???!!!!!"** Paul growled into the phone…

**A/N: **Ah yes, another dumb chapter from me. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon if anyone wants, when the guys really put their plans into action! I'll also try and see how soon I can update my other fic, as well as put up any of my new slash fics, though I'm rather nervous to, considering I've never seen 3 of the pairings on this particular site before, so I'm worried in this sense. In case any of you are wondering, I shall go ahead and admit it… The pairings in the different fics are on Jin/Hwo, Kaz/Lee, Bryan/Lei, Miharu/Xiaoyu, and Jun/Michelle, and there is a separate story for each of these. 

*But **Plz** don't put anything in the reviews like "I don't like that pairing" because this makes me feel bad… If it's encouraging, then I'd love to hear!

Uh, right… well plz review!


	5. The Chinese Quest for Dominance! Er, and...

**A/N **Hey everyone! Thank you all so much for reading, and so now I'm back w/ the next chapter! And yes, it can get even more stupid at that… 

Koorime: Thank you for correcting me on the 'informally' issue, that was just another dumb mix up of mine…

Daryl-chan: My friends & I have seen that Portuguese sight as well. We actually translated the fics on my computer to read them. If you read the one I'm thinking of, the one w/ the 'gun' was a little scary. Uh, yea…

Well, on with the fic! ^_^

____________________

**Where Did All the Guys Go?!**

Chapter 5

'The Chinese Quest for Dominance!' Er, and Korean…

____________________________

Thus Lee, Hwoarang, Lei, and Forest and set forth to plan how to pursue their dominance…But…meanwhile, Kazuya, Jin, Bryan, and Paul had decided to have a little meeting of their own over this…

Kazuya was waiting at his mansion for the others to arrive. Basically what had happened, was all of the 'semes' had found out that something was going on one way or another… First of all, Kazuya had made a phone call to Lei Wulong, and ended up talking to Bryan Fury instead, who had filled him in on what he had just witnessed. Then, Kazuya had received a rather urgent and disturbing call from his son Jin, who basically had the idea that Hwoarang and Lee had runaway together. Hearing this gave Kazuya the urge to crack the phone in half, or moreover to just break something, but if this had been true, then what role could Forest and Lei possibly play in this?

"Oh my god……what if they are…ALL……nah!"

Kazuya excluded this as a possibility right away… Well, after Bryan and Jin had filled him in on the apparent situation, Kazuya had made a phone call to Paul Phoenix, who had just spoken to Marshall Law one minute earlier… Paul was relieved to know Forest was alright, and once Kazuya had finally convinced him that Lee did NOT kidnap Forrest, he had decided that something was definitely up here.

Kazuya had been endlessly pacing back and fourth in the enormous den for a while, until he suddenly heard the doorbell ring. He then began walking over to answer it, but not before pausing briefly in front of the decorative mirror to straighten out his favourite purple suit. He loved that suit…

Kazuya then continued over to the doors. It took him a second to find all of the chains, since he was used to, well, actually Lee answering the door. They didn't have a butler as someone would expect, though they hired servants to do things temporarily, but it would be obvious that Kazuya wouldn't want anyone else to reside in his household for apparent reasons. He now opened the door, to see none other than his son Jin Kazama.

"Hel—"

"NO!!! Dad!! Wha-what am I going to do?! Wha—"

"ALRIGHT!! Don't worry, we ARE going to figure this out one way or another," Kazuya assured.

Jin then went over to take a seat on the couch, as he continuously sighed to himself. "I-I just don't get it… Tell me! What does Lee have that I don't?!"

"Hmm, well, he is much more exquisite, cunning, feminine, decorous, delicate, intel—"

"OK!!! I get the picture…"

Kazuya sighed at the sight of this, "Don't even think about it, Jin. I KNOW that Lee and Hwoarang are NOT, well, uh, you know they're NOT, uh—"

"Fucking!!!"

** (Zipper Sound)**

"………You actually know that word…?"

"……Well, it, it was taking you so long to think of it!!"

"……Right…"

Just then, the doorbell rang yet again. Kazuya now walked toward the door once more, as he glanced back at Jin over his shoulder one last time. He was definitely on the verge of sanity loss… The doorbell then rang again, and again.

*Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring!!!*

"OK!! I HEAR YOU!!"

Kazuya now opened the door to see Bryan Fury, who stomped right in.

"Ok, I don't know what the hell's going on here, but I'm going to find out!" Bryan assured. He then looked over at Jin who was still seated on the couch. He was talking to himself while making various motions with his hands…

"Uh, Kazuya? Is your son…ok…?"

"No."

"That's what I thought."

The doorbell then rang again; however, before Kazuya could even answer it, the door flew right open and hit him in the face, as Paul now stepped inside. Paul then looked around. "Where's Kazuya?" Bryan then gestured to the door as Kazuya flung it forward, as it now hit Paul.

"Why you…"

"Stop right there Phoenix!"

Paul cracked his knuckles before taking a step closer.

"STOP IT!!!" Jin yelled from a few yards away on the couch, "This is NOT the time to kick each other's asses!"

Paul then sighed, "Fine, sorry Kazuya."

"Apology accepted," he then muttered as he walked away, "I'll just kick your ass later." 

Paul looked up, "Hey…did you just—"

"Ok then!!" Kazuya spoke up as everyone now took a seat on the couch, other than himself as he now paced in front of everyone.

"So, what have we all noticed today?" Kazuya asked everyone.

"That Hwoarang loves Lee!!!"

*Everyone looks at Jin.

"Um, not really…" Kazuya sighed, "What I mean to say is, well, ok. Paul?"

"Yea?"

"Do you consider yourself to be the 'dominant' one over Forest?"

Paul cringed at the question, "Is that really any of your business?"

Kazuya sighed again, "Ok, I'll admit that I 'am' the dominant one over Lee."

"Duh," Everyone simultaneously replied.

"Fine," Paul spoke up, "Yes, I am the dominant one over Forest, I suppose."

"You're the seme," Jin stated.

Kazuya then looked at Jin. "And where are you learning all of this new vocabulary? The net?"

"I'm 21."

"Oh yea. I keep forgetting that," Kazuya muttered those last four words. "Well, moving on. Bryan, do you consider yourself to be dominate/seme/koi/on top/whatever?"

"Maybe…"

Jin then cocked his head to the side. "You mean then Lei is really the—?"

"Of course not!!" Bryan cut him off.

"Ah ha!" Kazuya pointed out, "That's what I thought." He then turned to face Jin. "And Jin, are you the dominant one?"

Jin blushed. "Do I have to answer that…?"

"Yes."

"Well, er, *sometimes*…" Jin blushed even harder.

_ Looks like Lee was right on the 50-50...._ "Its ok son, Lee already suggested this." _Shit, I so shouldn't have said that...._

"WHAT?! But-but how would HE know?!!" Jin frantically spoke as he clenched his fist…

"Hmm." Bryan thought to himself. _If Lee and Hwoarang really ARE together now, then that means that *MY* Lei and __Forest__ could.... could...._

"Hmm." Paul thought to himself. _If Lee and Hwoarang are together now, then this means __Forest__ and... Lei could.... could...._

Kazuya now looked back and fourth between Jin, Bryan, and Paul. "Snap out of it! It's NOT what you are thinking! What we have here is a rebellion!"

"A Chinese rebellion?" Paul arched a brow.

"I guess you really could say that," Kazuya nodded.

"But I haven't done anything to make Forrest mad at me?!" Paul declared.

"Are you sure?" Kazuya asked.

"Well…"

_"__Forest__!!__ Put down that cabinet!!"_

_ "__Forest__, take your afternoon nap!!"_

_ "Are you sure a wheelchair wouldn't be best?"_

_ "No going out after dark, there's rapist out there!! They're everywhere!!"_

_ "Yes, I *do*' own you!!"_

"I guess I have…"

"And what about you, Mr. Fury?" Kazuya asked.

"Let's see…"

_"I OWN you!"_

_ "Don't come cry'n to me when you get shot!"_

_ "I OWN you!"_

_ "You're not cut out to be a policeman anymore, damnit!"_

_"I OWN you!"_

_ "No, no! I see you trying to hide that cut on your torso down there! Let me see that right now!! Hell Lei!! Look at the size of that!! Are you asking to die?! I don't care if you were 'on the job' or not!!!_

_ "I OWN you!"_

_ *WHAP!!* K.O...._

"Nope, can't think of a thing."

*Everyone looks at Bryan.

Bryan then looked around at everyone. "What…?"

Kazuya sighed for the billionth time. "Bryan, this is serious."

"…Fine! It is true then! He-he has every right in the world to mad at me… But I have the right to—"

"OK! Jin?"

"Well…"

_"This is 'healthier' for you."_

_ "No Julia, Hwoarang uh, 'can't' come to the phone right now. No! Uh, that's NOT him in the background. I don't know where he lives!! What? You want to ask him on a....date? NO! Uh, he already has a bo-girlfriend!!"_

_ "So what if I did empty the gas tank to your motorcycle? We have a car!! It is NOT a piece o' crap! Well, maybe. But that motorcycle is dangerous! And hell, you don't even wear a helmet you're going to get yourself killed and then where will you be?!"_

_ "You're going to wear THAT?! I don't think so!"_

_ "You were on top last time so now I'm going to—"_

"Um, kinda…" Jin sighed as he ran a hand back through his ebony bangs. 

"And how about you? Mr. 'big and bad'?" Bryan demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Kazuya assured, "I never, oh…"

_"You belong to me Chaolan!"_

_ "I don't want you out in the sun too much, I like your skin pale the way it is!!"_

_ "NO SMOKING!!!"_

_ "Nina left a message on our answering machine today, are you up to something? Don't you try to lie to me! You say you're not lying, but how do I know to believe you? Trust you? I don't trust anyone!!"_

_ "Ha! Me…uke…? …right… The day you get to—"_

"OK!! I've been bad too!" Kazuya admitted.

"Hey…I just remembered something…" Jin muttered, "Hwoarang's not Chinese!!"

"…………"

"Hmm…" Kazuya thought. _So that's why Jin is the uke every once in a while..._

……Meanwhile, the ukes were now having their meeting at Marshall Law's house. Marshall was in court, so they had awhile. 

"Ok everyone!" Lee declared, "This is meeting. A meeting to regain our dominance! Yes, the Chinese quest for dominance!"

"Damn straight!" Hwoarang assured. 

Lee nodded. "We're going to teach them that we own them as much as they _think _they own us!"

"That's right!" Hwoarang agreed, "But hey… I'm *NOT* Chinese!"

** (No one seems to hear him)**

"We have to show them," Lee once more declared, "We must stop being so venal, especially when they are all having an irascibility problem, as well as being so flippant, and oppressive!! We deserve an explication for our apparent devaluation by showing them all what lamentation feels like! Trust me, they are malleable!!"

*Everyone has the WTF look.

"…What the hell did you just say?!" Hwoarang questioned, followed by a sarcastic nod from Forest as well.

"He's saying that we need to stop being wimpy while showing them what it feels like to experience grief, because their opinions can be changed," Lei replied.

"Exactly!" Lee applauded.

"Whoa…" Hwoarang squinted, "You actually understood that?!"

Lei shrugged.

"Hey," Forest spoke up, "I-I understood everything too!"

"Right…" Lee sighed, "Moving on, we must now implement our goals, while being as adroit as—"

"LEE!!!"

"Yes Hwoarang?"

"Use 'basic' speech please!!!"

"…huh…?" 

Lei shook his head, "He was saying we should now achieve our goals in a skilful manner, or dexterous, clever, expe—"

"Shut the hell up, Lei," Hwoarang sighed.

_ Dumb kids..._

_ Dumb cops...!_

_ I don't know crap, but they don't have to know that! _"Uh yea…" Forest nodded, "Continue."

"As I was saying," Lee went on, "Well, actually, Lei pretty much said it for me…but anyway, we must now formulate a plan!"

"Formulate…" Hwoarang thought. "Oh yeah, 'come-up-with!' See, I'm smart!!"

"………"

"………"

"………"

"…You guys suck…!"

*Everyone laughs

"Yea, I know I'm funny." Hwoarang rolled his eyes. _And cooler! Heh heh._

"Yes, trust me guys," Lee declared, "NO one is more possessive than Kazuya."

"Pah!" Hwoarang spat, "Have you seen Jin in a club?! Or around Julia?"

"No way," Lei shook his head, "None of you have it as bad as I do!"

"Screw that!" Forest protested, "I bet none of you have been locked inside the house 'for fear of rapist'!"

"Well Paul's eyes don't glow red on ya!" Hwoarang declared.

"Hey," Lee replied, "Kazuya's more of a devil than Jin!"

"Oh yeah?!" Lei spoke up, "You finally think you're going to get them for a change, let them have *their* turn as the *uke* for once, then at night, you think they're not awake, so you creep up on them while they're asleep, finally, you're almost there, but they just end up pulling you down instead at the last minute!!"

**(~Record Scratch~)**

"………"

"………"

"………"

"……Please tell me I didn't just say that…"

"It's ok, Lei," Lee assured, "We all feel your pain."

"You couldn't possibly……" 

"Moving on," Lee began, "Any ideas?"

"Well," Forest began," You implied a second ago that we should make them feel grief for what they have done to us, so how would we do that?"

"Duh!" Hwoarang replied, "Commit suicide, of course."

"……True, that would work," Lee agreed, "But, I think there are… better alternatives…"

"Hmm," Lei thought for a moment," Maybe we could just make them 'think' we died, or something."

"I don't know about that," Forrest stated, "How do we know none of them would do something drastic then?"

"Forest is right," Lee declared, "If any of us died, they may become despondent and commit suicide themselves, or just do something plain…crazy, and that would defeat the whole purpose of this in the first place. And besides, I think when we refer back to the stupid 'uke' issue, well, I think our guys are just feeling trepidation…"

Hwoarang was about to say something, before Lei cut him off.

"He means 'fearful.'"

"Hey, I knew that!"

"Sorry," Lei replied, "I'm just trying to elucidate."

_ Elucidate?! Damn! _"Whatever."

"Just remember," Lee began, "High success is our goal, not mediocrity!"

"That's it," Hwoarang stood up, "If I hear just ONE more word from you, that has more than three syllables, then I'm going to—"

"OK!"

"Oh, and by the way," Lei responded, "The word 'mediocrity' is a root for the word 'mediocre' or 'average'."

"SHUT UP!!!!!"

*Everyone looks at Forest…

"…This is getting us no where!! 

"This meeting has way too much incongruity!!" Hwoarang declared.

*Everyone looks at Hwoarang…

"What?? Well, about the grief issue, what if we were to just make them _think _something happened to us. Not death obviously, but perhaps just critical, or something…I dunno…"

"…Wait a second," Lee replied, "That's a very good suggestion Hwoarang!"

"Hmm…" Lei thought for a moment… "Hey, I have an idea!"

"Fine then," Bryan sighed, "We know why they are mad at us, but then what are they up to?"

"I guess they're having some kind of 'Chinese quest for dominance meeting," Kazuya replied. "I guess we really don't deserve much vindication here, huh?"

"Huh?" Jin squinted.

"He means 'clear from blame', or from criticism, or just 'not guilty," Bryan shrugged.

"You understood that?" Jin asked.

"Yea, I've been to court."

"Well," Kazuya continued, "We obviously can't just be impervious here?!"

"I think it's obvious that we're not, Kazuya," Bryan sighed.

_ I don't understand shit, but none of them have to know that.... _"Yea," Paul nodded, "I agree!"

*Everyone looks at Paul.

"Well I do?!"

"Hey…" Jin muttered, "Hwoarang is not Chinese!"

"Oh yea," Kazuya thought for a second, "It took you that long to think of this?"

*Paul and Bryan laugh…

"………no…!"

*~*Telephone Rings*~*

"I'll get it, I bet it's Lee calling to apologize," Kazuya sighed.

"Good!" Paul replied, "Then Forest can get his regular pointless speech without a definite meaning from me!"

*Ring* *Ring*

"Hello? Yes, this is he. Who is this? Huh? Where are you calling from?!"

"I hope it is them," Jin sighed, "I'm going to admit that I am a *little* worried…"

"WHAT??!!"

Everyone now turned around on the couch to look back at Kazuya who was obviously in pure shock…

"Yes… I… I see… thank you……"

Kazuya then hung up the phone…well, dropped it……

"What was that about?!" Jin questioned, "What's wrong?"

"Lee… Forest… Lei… Hwoarang… they… they…"

"WHAT IS IT?!!" Paul demanded.

"…Th-they were in a wreck…… and are in critical condition down at the hospital……"

"………"

"………"

"………"

"………"

**A/N **Uh oh, so now what is going to happen? And of course…what are Kaz, Jin, Bryan, and Paul going to do when they find out this in fact really is a joke? And are Lee, Hwoarang, Lei, and Forest really going to be able to pull this off? Or will they get busted first…? Hmm, what do you guys think will happen next??? And of course, what are the ukes to do when they get some 'unexpected' visitors?

And yes, I know this was stupid…

But Plz review, I luv reviews! Er, good ones…


	6. The Fall of the Semes : The Ukes' Master...

**A/N: **I update way too fast, huh? Oh well, I've been mostly working on my stories so far this weekend, during the summer I'll defiantly have everything out.

Oh, and Koorime was obviously right about the misspelled seme in the last chp. I was setting my spell check to auto because I'm lazy, and I forgot to add seme to the dictionary, so it was automatically changing it to semi. I'm glad it was just the 'I' that was messed up there, when I checked what choice #2 was for the auto correct, it turned out to be semen, so I'm glad that didn't happen. Another mistake it likes to make, is when I misspell 'thought', my comp. always changes it to 'though'. I'll just make sure to proof read 'before' I put things up from now on. Well, here's the next chapter! (And if you think these are too long, I can try to shorten them up a bit I guess)

________________

**Where Did All the Guys Go?!**

Chapter 6

The Fall of Semes : The Ukes' Master Plan!

__________________________

So basically at this point, Kazuya, Jin, Bryan, and Paul, had just heard that Lee, Hwoarang, Lei, and Forest had been in a wreck, and are now in critical condition…

"…This is *NOT* funny, dad!!!" Jin yelled out rather loudly.

"Fuck no it's not!!!" Bryan agreed.

"…No… it… it's true…"

"I don't believe this!" Paul spat as he now went over to the phone and looked at the caller ID. "See, it's really—…the hospital……"

"WHAT??!!" Bryan and Jin both simultaneously exclaimed…

Bryan now went over to take a look at the caller ID himself, and sure enough, Paul and Kazuya had been right…

"No…" Bryan muttered, "How bad is it…?"

"It… it's bad…"

"Ex-excuse me for a second, guys…" Paul whispered as he exited in to the neighbouring room…

"…Me too…" Bryan mumbled as he walked off… 

"Oh god…" Kazuya then buried his face in his hands, "This is all my fault… If I hadn't of, then Lee wouldn't have, then none of this would have…"

"…We, we need to get down there right away!" Jin demanded.

"Yes son, you're right… Bryan?! Paul?!"

Bryan then walked back in, like a zombie. Well, you know…

"…I see you have bee crying…too…" Jin muttered.

"No *sniff* I have not…!!"

Paul then came back into the den as well. "I just had to go to the restroom to wash my face. I used water. That's why it's wet… yea…"

Kazuya knew they were both lying, but he could really care less at the moment. "Well, I guess we should, ya know, go down there now…"

Everyone then silently agreed, as they now exited the mansion, and made their way to the circular drive.

"…Do you want to take my car?" Jin asked.

"Jin! How can you even think about joking at a time like this?!" Kazuya spat.

"…Er, it wasn't a joke…"

"Whatever, we're NOT taking your… 'car'…"

"That's not a car…not-at-all…" Paul shook his head.

"…Shut up you guys…*sniff*…"

…Meanwhile…

"Are you guys sure this is going to work?" Forest asked. Currently, he, Lei, Hwoarang, and Lee were all at the local hospital, which was just about a twenty-minute drive from Lee's house, where Kazuya and the others had just left from…

"Trust me," Lee assured, "This will work." 

Basically, Lee had paid a good number of hospital employees a good amount of money to go along with this temporarily, while Lei had assured them they would receive no trouble with the law for any of this if they agreed. What was supposed to happen, was when the others arrived, they would be told they were too late, and that they had already died. Then, after secretly watching the reactions from them, the ukes would come out the doors to laugh at them… Not very nice at all…

They were now all in the emergency waiting room.

"Hmm…" Hwoarang thought, "But what if someone who would recognize us was to suddenly show up?"

"Nah, I don't think so," Lee replied.

"And besides," Lei added, "What are the odds of that?"

"HWOARANG!! LEE!! LEI!! LAW!! Er, FOREST LAW!!"

Everyone then turned their heads to see…

"Oh no…" Hwoarang muttered… "It's Julia…"

*Everyone Sweatdrops…

Julia then ran over to them immediately afterwards, as she gave Hwoarang a big ol' hug.

*cough*

"Oh, sorry Hwoarang. I guess I got carried away there."

"It's ok." _Not really._

"So," she continued, "Whatever are the four of you doing down here together? Oh my gosh, has somebody you know been hurt?!"

"Um, no." Hwoarang shrugged.

"Then what are you doing down here?"

"What are YOU doing here, Julia?" Lei now asked. 

"Well, you see I, well, fine. I'm trying to become a nurse here temporarily, just for the summer."

_ Oh god I'm going to make sure I NEVER get hurt now!! _"Um, that's cool," Hwoarang nodded, "You know, I think I'll go get a coke from that vending machine over there."

Julia smiled. "Coke is bad for you."

*Lee, Lei, and Forest try not to laugh.

_ Damnit! Ok, just don't 'lose you cool.' _ "NO it's not!"

"Yes it is, I can show you the before and after effects of it."

Hwoarang then turned and walked away to get his coke, as Julia followed him…

"Hahaha." Forest laughed, "Remind me to feel sorry for him!"

Lee sighed, "Try having the William sluts all over you 24-7…"

"Oh yea," Lei spoke up, "Do any of you have any idea how Anna Williams was murdered at the dance?"

"Hmm," Lee thought. _Duh! Kazuya zapped the hell out of 'it'. _"Nope, I haven't a clue."

"Hey," Forest remembered something, "Didn't Heihachi die?"

Lee blinked. "Who gives a damn?" 

"Not me," Lei declared, "I heard he killed himself, wonder why?"

Just then, a loud explosion was heard from across the large room, as everyone turned to see the Cola machine erupting out endless sodas.

"It's not my fault!!!" Hwoarang yelled. The machine had stolen a quarter from him, so in response, he had kicked the crap out of it.

Everyone then went over to get a soda off the ground, who was within range to see the cans lying about the floor.

"So really," Julia began, "What are you doing here?"

Hwoarang sighed, "Do you really want to know, Julia?"

She nodded.

"Fine, well you see, me and the other guys over there are pulling a prank on Jin, Kazuya, Bryan, and Paul. They think we were in a wreck!"

Hwoarang was expecting Julia to laugh, but she didn't… "That's not very nice! What would you do if you heard I was in a wreck?"

"Hmm…" _Hip hip hurray! _"Well, that's not important, just make sure you DON'T tell anybody!"

A nurse then came out of a neighbouring hall to enter the waiting room. "Ok guys, you can come back here and wait now."

Hwoarang, Lee, Lei, and Forest then all went back into the 'emergency patients' clinic where they would wait until the semes arrived.

Julia then rolled her eyes as she watched their backs recede. _Yea, what a tight ass!!_

At this time, Kazuya, Jin, Bryan, and Paul were all seated in the back of Kazuya's limo as the driver floored the petal to get to the hospital faster.

"You know," Kazuya began as he broke the silence, "I had never really thought about how I would respond to a situation like this…The truth is, I don't…think I could live without Lee… him and his nagging for cigarettes all of the time, and taking five hours to get ready to go somewhere…"

Bryan nodded, "…I know what you mean… I guess I always have been kinda harsh on Lei…I remember how I yelled at him for not returning that overdue video to Blockbuster on time last week…" He laughed slightly, "It was 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone', and he thought it was really 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer Stoned,' so he thought it was a different video… He's just so damn cute sometimes…"

"And I haven't really ever given Forest enough, well, any space…" Paul spoke, "I dunno, I just feel like it's my job to protect him, but Forest is one those free spirited people, so I guess I've just been trapping him…"

"Hwoarang…" Jin whispered. "I guess I've always acted like the wife…"

**(Speed Bump)**

*Everyone squints at Jin.

"No, let me rephrase that… I've always treated him well, uh, not as good as I could have…"

"We all feel that way, son," Kazuya replied, "You know, we're acting like they are going… to…… die…"

**(Another Speed Bump)**

"Bryan?" Jin asked, "What would you do if Lei died? Would you kill yourself?"

"……Maybe……"

"Me too…I mean, if Hwoarang did…"

"What, you're saying you don't care if Lei dies?"

"I'm not saying that, I'm just saying I'd rather Lei die than Hwoarang."

"…I'm going to kick your ass!!"

"He has a point, Jin," Kazuya agreed, "That was rude."

"Damnit!"

*Jin's cell phone starts to ring.

"Hello?"

"Here you are, sir," replied a nurse as she now handed Forest a pair of crutches so he could stop hopping.

"Thanks."

All of a sudden, they heard the sound of someone crying outside. Lee went over to look though the small glass window on one of the double doors. "OH… Shit!"

"What is it?!" Everyone exclaimed.

"It's, it's Xiaoyu, Miharu, Christie, and Eddy!!!"

"What the fuck?!" Hwoarang exclaimed, "Let me see this!" He then walked over to see that Lee had been right.

Forest sighed, "But how did they hear about this?"

"…………"

"Damn," Forest replied, "I guess we never thought of that…"

"Crap," Hwoarang spoke, "Now even more of um' are showing up…"

They then all looked through to see that Nina, Steve, Jun, Michelle, and Anna had arrived as well.

"Anna?!" Lee exclaimed, "But I saw her die!!"

**~Record Scratch~**

"Oh well, who cares if you tried to murder Anna?" Hwoarang shrugged.

"Sure," Lei replied, "You can go out there and murder her here right now, and I won't arrest you or anything."

"…Good idea!"

"Hmm," Hwoarang thought of something… _Hey, wasn't the whole wreck thing Lei's idea too?_

The waiting room was now beginning to completely fill up with Tekken fighters…

At about this time, Julia now exited a nearby room, in a nurse's outfit… only to see Xiaoyu crying…

Julia ran over to her. "Ling? What's wrong, and why is everyone here like this?"

"Oh Julia! Haven't you heard? Hwoarang, Lee, Forest, and Lei are going to die at any moment! I heard that Lee's Honda was torn into scraps, and that Lei and Hwoarang were hurled from the car, and then ran over again, while Lee and Forest were hit by a towing truck…!"

"WHAT?!" Julia exclaimed, "That's a bunch of crap! I can't believe they actually went through with this!"

"Huh?"

"Xiao, this is nothing but a big prank. None of them are hurt, they're just all waiting back there so they can laugh at everyone for pitying them later on."

O.o

Miharu had been listening too. "What?! You mean they're watching us cry for them right now?!"

"…Probably…"

"Oooo!!!" Ling growled. She should have expected this anyway, she also figured it was Hwoarang's idea.

Just then, Kazuya, Jin, Bryan, and Paul entered the front doors to see everyone. Jun then ran up to Kazuya…

"I'm so sorry! I wish I could have done something to prevent this!" She then looked at Jin, "And I know how terrible you must feel, Jin…"

_ She knows.... _Kazuya thought.

At this time, Julia, Xiaoyu, and Miharu all stomped up to them.

"Guys, we need to have a little talk about this…" Julia declared…

The others all arched a brow…

"Ok," one of the nurses spoke to the ukes who were in one of the back rooms. "I'm going to go announce your deaths now, so just stay here in the security room to watch," She then walked off.

"Look guys, there they are," Lee pointed to the monitor screen.

They then watched as the nurse exited the hallway into the waiting room, as she met the semes up front.

"So, how are they?!" Kazuya asked rather urgently.

"I'm sorry, but they just died…all of them…"

"…………"

Lee, Lei, Hwoarang, and Forest all now leaned in toward the screen, anticipating the reactions.

"Nah, oh well." Kazuya shrugged, "All's well that's ends well, that's my motto, and yes, it ended well. I'm just sorry I couldn't see it. The wreck, I mean."

"WHAT??!!" Lee exclaimed from the back room, as everyone else looked just as surprised.

Jin also shrugged, "Oh well, you win some, you lose some. Oh wait, I never lost, it always WAS Hwoarang, so I guess his luck just stayed the same!"

Hwoarang froze on the spot…

"And Lei," Bryan began, "I must say I've been after his job for quite some time now, so I guess I can finally take it, considering he kinda sucked at it," He declared, "Fwweeezzee!!!" Bryan impersonated, as the whole room began to laugh…

Lei now fell out of his chair…

"Oh, and Forest?" Paul spoke up, "He was just always so weak and pathetic, you know?"

Everyone nodded.

"Yea, and he was just so damn annoying! Nag nag nag! Pah, that's all he ever did!"

Marshall nodded in agreement, "He really was a pathetic son… I feel so ashamed!!!"

Forest was about to punch in the TV monitor, but Hwoarang grabbed his fist in time to stop him. "Dude, you'd be electrocuted," he then turned off the monitors.

The nurse who had announced the 'death of the ukes' was now rather, well, freaked. She now turned to go back to the monitor room.

When she opened the door, she saw that Lei was now loading his gun…

"Very funny you assholes!!!" Kazuya exclaimed as he looked up into one of the cameras in the corner of the room. "You actually thought you could get away with this??!! Lee!! You get out here right this second!!"

Everyone in the room, who had been laughing just a second ago, now had their arms folded in a choleric manner for what those four had attempted to pull off in the first place.

The nurse then walked back out.

"So," Kazuya began, "Where are they?!"

"Um, well…"

"Come on, we won't kill them, yet," Paul sighed.

"Well, actually, they were all crying… The Chinese guy with the red hair was about to put a gun to his head I think…"

** (Zipper Sound)**

"WHAT??!!" Everyone exclaimed in unison, as Jin now began to strangle the nurse.

"Where are they, damnit?!"

"*cough* Go straight down that hall and turn right *cough* it's the first room."

Jin then threw the nurse, who screamed as she flew back and hit the coke machine.

Jin then yelled back as he began to sprint, "AND HE'S NOT CHINESE DAMNIT!!"

Jin sprinted down the halls, followed by Kazuya, Bryan, and Paul. When he reached the opened door, Jin looked in to see…

"Good bye, cruel world…" Hwoarang whispered as he was about to pull the trigger…

"And hurry up with my gun," Lei replied, "We want our turns as well…"

"NNNOOOO!!!!" Jin exclaimed as he attempted to do a dramatic dive, but Lee slammed the door shut and locked it as Jin hit the door… He tried to break it in, but it was a security room, so it was just too thick…

*BANG!!*

"Well, now it's my turn…" Everyone heard Lei declare from the inside.

Bryan then began beating on the door. "NO!! LEI!!! DON'T DO IT PLEASE DON'T!!!"

*BANG!!*

"My turn," Lee sighed, "Now I'll just get this over with. OH KAZUYA WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A DICK??!!"

*BANG!!*

"NNOOO!!! LEE!!!"

"And I guess I'm last, but PATHETIC people go last!"

*BANG!!*

"FOREST!!!!!"

Suddenly, the door in front of them opened…

"So, how are you feeling boys?" Lee asked.

"TERRIBLE!!" Kazuya exclaimed, "YOU JUST KILLED YOUR—WHAT??!!!"

The door then opened fully to reveal everyone inside of the room, laughing their asses off!

"……………"

Julia then strolled up. "True, what they were pulling on you was a dirty trick, but what you guys did wasn't too nice either," She giggled.

"DAMNIT!!!" Kazuya exclaimed trying to stop the tears from running down his face…

"Hmm, Jin. Looks like I didn't LOSE this time, huh?" Hwoarang glared at him.

Jin stood up from where he had sunk down to his knees. "*sniff* Why did you have to do that tell me why the fuck did you have to do that??!!!"

"Why do you care?" Julia asked, "Hey… wait a minute… Jin, why are you crying if you hate Hwoarang? And Bryan, why are you crying if you hate Lei? And Kazuya, why are you crying if you hate Lee, and Paul, why are you crying if you, if you, well why are you crying?!"

"SHUT UP JULIA!!" Everyone exclaimed.

"…ok…"

"And go away why you're at it," Jin sighed.

"…ok…"

Julia then turned around and exited the hall.

Bryan then went straight over to Lei and snatched the gun right off of his belt. "You're NOT carrying this around anymore, EVER!!"

"…Oh yea?" Lei smirked, right before pushing Bryan straight back against the neighbouring wall with the flats of his palms and kissing him deeply.

"Go Lei!!" Hwoarang exclaimed, "Wait a' be dominant!!"

Forest did the same thing to Paul that Lei had to Bryan a split second later.

"…Fine Lee," Kazuya sighed, "Just do it already." _Does this mean I'm the uke now???_

"Don't mind if I do."

"A-hem!" Jin looked at Hwoarang.

"I don't know Jin, I'm still pretty mad at you…"

"…But, but you're the one who—"

(Gets cut off after Hwoarang throws him down on the floor and begins kissing him)

Lee then turned around as he still held Kazuya back against the wall. "Guys, I think the hospital isn't the best place for this… Come on Kazuya!!"

"Yes sir…" _Damnit__!_

Forrest then spoke up. "And now a shout out for the Chinese Quest for Dominance!!"

"…Hey," Hwoarang began, "I'm NO—ah the hell with it! Come on Jin," he then leaned in to whisper into Jin's ear, "Looks like Hwoarang the horny ghost is back."

"See you later guys," Lei winked, "And you comeon' too, Bryan."

"…I really do love the way you say *comeon*…"

*******************

The Next Day……

***************

*RING* *RING*

"Hello?" Kazuya sighed into the phone after a long night. "Oh, hi Jin. What do you mean 'how was it'?!!!"

Thus, the ukes had regained some dominance, though; they were STILL ukes none the less.

**A/N: **Well that sure was stupid I bet. I will have yet more chapters to come though, so be prepared… In the next episode, the guys will find out that they're not exactly the only ones in the same positions as they are….

*Oh, and do you guys think I should change the rating to 'R'? I actually realized that it may already be one. I'd like to rate things 'M', but unfortunately this site has some retarded flaws. Ah well. I'm just afraid if I changed the rating to 'R' that I may get a little carried away…with the descriptions, and all…

Just tell me what ya think! & plz review! ^_^


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